Friday, July 16, 2010

“I just can’t get you out of my head.”

So. I am incredibly bored. And I can’t even make my sister entertain me because she’s just as heavily medicated as I am. Rawr.
Here’s my wisdom teeth experience thus far:
Day one:
  • Woke up at day break to go get teeth cut out of my face. Excruciating. Exciting!
  • Volunteered my sister to get hers done first. [I’m a great big sister!]
  • Fell asleep before the surgeon finished his “You’ll be drowsy and fall asleep.” speech.
  • Didn’t wake up until I was already at home on the couch. [Jessie got the recliner.]
  • Bled like an m-f-er for hours. And it hurt.
  • Fell asleep for hours. Woke up and wasn’t bleeding anymore.
  • But I had icy socks tied around my face when I woke up. Always fun.
  • Ate jello.
  • Craved solid food already.
  • Jessie and I had to turn off the tv because there were far too many yummy, delicious, solid food commercials.
Day two:
  • Found out that mom told the people to give us weaker drugs because she didn’t think that we needed the super strong ones.
  • Started ignoring my mother.
  • My sister went to stand on the rug while mom vacuumed it.
  • She proceeded to pass out and scare the shit out of us.
  • “Well, Jessie, if you didn’t want to help me clean, you could have just said something!”
  • Put my Catholic guilt skills to good use, and convinced my friend to bring me a milkshake.
  • He showed up with a milkshake for each of us. [He’s a keeper, yo.]
  • He left to go on vacation to Florida. [Maybe he’s not. Jerk.]
  • Laid here and ate.
  • Ate some more.
  • And more.
  • And on today’s menu? Jello, milkshake, sweet tea, and –drum roll please!- mashed potatoes! [Highlight of my day, yo.]
  • Decided that I was lonely and that I should lift the ban on visitation. [Who needs an ego?]
  • My sister told me that I look like Quagmire [of Family Guy fame.] Sigh.
  • Replaced the ban on visitation.
I lead a great life.

Peace, love, and harmony.

1 comment:

Ann said...

i hope you're feeling better. i just got my wisdom teeth out too, and basically chronicled the entire thing in bullet points. and i agree, adding another food to my diet was the highlight of my day! it's been over a week, and i'm still only eating mushed up food. i wonder when i'll be brave enough to eat real food again!