My Stupid Mouth – John Mayer
I have gained a couple pet peeves in the past week. I guess I’ve always had them, but they are just coming out stronger.
1. People coming up to you when you’re chilling with your boyfriend and saying “Hey, I hope I’m not interrupting a moment, but…”.
And they usually giggle after they say it. So obnoxious. I mean, first off, obviously, if there was a moment, you interrupted it. Simple as that. And they don’t really hope that they aren’t, they just want you to feel awkward. And you do. It only really applies when you walk up on someone making out and you say it sarcastically. Seriously, people.
2. Similarly to the last one, people coming up to you and said boyfriend and going, “Awww! You guys are so cute!”
What do you say to that? Thank you? They always say it in a baby-talking voice. What is the etiquette for this? Do you say thank you back in baby talk or in my normal monotone? If I stick to the monotone, I sound like a bitch or it gets really awkward. What am I supposed to do?! They don’t teach this in cotillion!
3. Overly moralized people.
That’s not exactly right, but I don’t know what to call it. But for example, this chick in my section is friends with benefits with her ex, but she won’t admit it. I’ve talked to several people who saw them kissing. But she still says that they are just really close friends who have deep conversations.
When she told me this, I just said, “Yeah, conversations with a lot of tongue.” You think she cut me out of her will? I just figure, if you’re going to do it, own up to it! “Do not do what you would undo if caught.” ‘Nuff said.
4. Open PDA
Okay, I’ll admit that I have made out with Q. with others around. But, in my defense, it was pitch black, and we were sectioned away in our own little bus seat. There are kids in band who openly kiss out in front of everyone. And that’s not the worst of it!! One couple plays grab ass all the flippin time. It is so nasty. It just makes everyone else in the room feel uncomfortable. Ugh.
5. The French language
I’m sorry if you’re French.
Sorry for you. But seriously? The language sounds like everyone has a nasty head cold and needs to hock a logy. Its gross and phlegm…y. The classroom in which I take my online class from hell also contains a couple AP French students. I get so distracted from my work because I’m dying to give them all cough drops. I’m sorry, but if that’s a romance language, then maybe its true that romance is dead. It died due to lack of proper decongestants.
I had more, but I’m too tired to remember right now. Band is getting to me.
May the force be with y’all.